What If You Die?

Nobody likes to think about their own mortality, yet at some stage every single one of us will die.  This may sound morbid, so think of it instead as Positive Preparation.  It will give you peace of mind when you are organised, and your family will thank you later on.

Do you have an up-to-date will?  Have you recorded what your wishes are after you die (e.g., cremation, burial, organ donation)?  Do you have a preference for a certain style of funeral or a particular cemetery?  What type of end-of-life care would you prefer?  Do you want to be resuscitated?  Or kept alive on life support?  Where would you rather die?  Is the information readily available that will be needed to complete a death registration?

Each person will have different preferences, and each country will have different legal requirements.  For instance, in New Zealand if a person dies without a will (“intestate”) then it can take at least six months before their estate can be finalized.  If you die owning substantial assets then the process becomes even more complicated.

Thinking about all of this, I dragged my will out of the drawer and considered it.  It is over ten years since it was created and both of my named executors have since died.  I now have grandchildren as well.  I have written out on a page, and signed it, what my new preferences are until I can get the opportunity to have a new will legally drawn up for me.

When my husband was told that medical help could not save him, we were urged to consider creating an end-of-life document that set out what care he preferred to have in his last days.  We did this, in conjunction with our doctor, and it became an important document as he did not wish to be resuscitated and the hospital was then able to follow his instructions.  This allowed him to die with the dignity he desired, rather than undergo a futile attempt to keep him alive for a little while longer.

When it comes to registering a death a bereaved family member is usually requested to answer questions they may not know the answers to.  Having studied my family’s genealogy over the years I know that there are many death certificates with incorrect information recorded on them.

Each country will have different requirements, but usually they need to know things like when and where you were born, who your parents were, when you married, who your spouse was, what military service you participated in.  Ask around to see what information you need to have (search online or try places like a funeral home, library, Citizens Advice Bureau etc.) and then write it out and place it with your will.

Of course, apart from keeping all your documents together, your family needs to know what you have done and where it can all be found.  Tell more than one person if possible.  I have seen a family member belatedly inform his siblings of a parent’s last wishes when it was almost too late to enact them. 

None of us wish to die of Covid-19 – or anything else! – but thousands are dying every week and we should all be prepared, and I do not mean just the elderly.

Face it – death is an immutable fact of life.

Prepare for it – get your papers in order

Forget about it – go and enjoy every day of your life

Life is wonderful.  Enjoy every day, every precious moment, as much as you can.

Margaret xx